Runaway. Diary of a Street Kid - Evelyn Lau

Evelyn Lau's Runaway (1989) is the most recent work I added to my universe of read books.
The author of this book is a chinese girl, born and raised in Vancouver, Canada; she appears to be nowadays a writer, but I had not had ever heard about her since I stepped into the book (purchased in a traditional huge market in Rome, Italy). According to what I then found out about her, she published a bunch of works, including poetry and novels, gaining some success and especially some status between the youngest generation of talented Canadian writers.
But let's get back to the book.

As I simply adore reading diaries, because of the way they approach us to someone's inner life and most sincere thoughts, I could not resist to pick it up. Moreover, the comment by the "Publishers Weekly" on the front cover seemed to me extremely seductive, as it compared Lau's work to the shivering Christiane F.'s "Wir Kinder von Bahnhof Zoo" (1981).
The book is actually a collection of 8 diaries written between March '86 and Jan. '88. The first diaries deal with the author's teenager life at home and school: both settings are hostile to the doubtful girl, as we can read. Family life is a complete nightmare and social everyday existence equal to zero: coming from a traditional chinese environment (not a successful one, by the way) she is forced to face the occidental way of life at school and crashes into realities she does not feel like she could ever belong to. As for any teenager of this world, her mind is obscured by fears and doubts but only one clear idea is steady from the very beginning: her passion and love for literature and her talent for writing. This will be the fil rouge of her existence, as we see...
Evelyn cannot stand her life the way it is... and she decides to escape. From now on, she will be hosted into several institutions, families and friend's houses willing to help her altough she will always find her way out. A sense of non suitability for everything and everywhere pervades the young girl and pushes her to find on the streets that hype and vibe she could not found in ordinary life. As she cannot still find what she looks for, because she does not know what she wants, she attempts suicide. And fails. And failure pulls her down even more than before.
At this time of narration I was kind of bored of the spiraling sequence of events: institutions welcoming, escape; family or friends hosting and then escape... the girl was always seeking help and when she got it she could not help losing it voluntarily. These happenings were making me lose interest in the book, for I frankly just found them too senseless and stupid for such a brilliant girl (this was the opinion I got from the intimate description she made of herself). Drugs experiencing (cannabis and LSD) and drunkenness seemed to me the only happy moments of narration (maybe because they were the only happy moments in her life???).
Evelyn starts to have psychological help from doctors and case-workers, but at that time she is already back on the street with a new discover: the sale of her body for a bunch of coins, drugs and a little ephemeral self-esteem in return.
The moment she meets Henry and approaches herself to methadone and all kind of pills and medications, starts a renewed interest from my side. One year has passed in her life and she is getting in touch for the first time with something we could possibly define love. But when a chemical love is established between two persons, things will never tend to be pure and romantic like in an ordinary love story. Drugs will be the main link between them and will cause and lead all happiness and troubles as they appear.
Apart from the events narration, the author's thoughts and emotions are more attractive than before, and can cause now some pondering and feeling also in the reader's reaction.
Yet, we have not come to any point. Doubt and lack of self-confidence make the girl take always the wrong decision, despite the position she ended up gaining, as she does not seem to understand or learn anything from what she does or just happens to her as a consequence. Of course this vexed me in a deep way but at least kept my attention alive and lusty (and that is the main ingredient to what I call a successful and tasty "writing-reading recipe").
The reader can now get a better idea of what harlotry is, seen from the eyes of the prostitute: never an easy decision. Though it can turn into pleasure for the mind and the self-esteem paradoxically, because it becomes a matter of command and influence over the client's behaviour and enjoyment itself. At the very end, despite all psychological tragedy, Evelyn ends up with a winning attitude towards her stormy adventure: grown up and consequently more self-confident, yet unsure of the future: leaving the life on the street and getting back to normality may be as much difficult as resisting to the harder job of surviving among whores, addiction, maniacs and so on, especially when it seems to be the only reality we are destined to.

I am curious about Evelyn Lau's other works, especially because I would like to taste her more mature manner and style of writing. But not just so. The diary form has one special system in itself which normally makes the author not caring about style and stylistics: it is a kind of free and intimate writing, like a religious confession, and when produced it is not supposed to be published and shared. It is the voice of the uncontrolled self speaking and leading the game.
I suppose that Lau's later works (maybe not poetry) are fictional and show the author's real talent. One thing left to prove it: just reading another book of her.